Families Change Guide to Separation & Divorce

4.15 - Strategies for Children

4.15 - Strategies for Children

Next, we are going to watch some videos to discover tips that you may want to share with your children. The first video is called, “It Is Not Your Fault”.


Zoe: What’s happening today in class?

Jake: Oh, Nothin'.

Zoe: So why are you looking so sad?

Jake: I had a crappy weekend. My parents told me they’re going to separate! I can’t believe it. It RUINED the weekend. It's RUINING my life!

Zoe: My parents separated three years ago.

Jake: You live with your mom, right?

Zoe: Yeah. It was rough at first, but it’s not, like, the end of the world.

Jake: Things are really weird at home. My mom and dad have been fighting about everything. First they talk about me not doing my homework. After that they just told me they were breaking up.

Zoe: Just like that?

Jake: Yeah, pretty much.

Zoe: Man, that's harsh. When my mom and dad split I was just a little kid. But since then I’ve learned a lot of things. Kids do not cause their parents separate. You can be a perfect angel and do your homework the minute you get home – heck, you can do it before you get home – it's not going to make any difference!

Jake: I wish we could just go back in time. I wouldn’t cause any more trouble. I’d do all my homework and my parents would just be my parents again. Things would be all good.

Zoe: Sorry, that’s another thing. Kids can't make their parents go back together. They break up because of what goes on between them. Separation is not 'cause of kids. Parents separate for their own reasons.

Jake: That makes sense. They fight about a lot more than my homework.

Zoe: Of course they do!! Separation is always about problems between grown ups. It’s about what they do. It is never about what we do. Parents make their own choices.

Jake: I guess my parents have their own problems, right?

Zoe: You know it. Their separation is not about you. It’s about them. Read my lips: It’s not your fault!